Even though Colleen opened the door for him, Sleepy broke through Colleen's window. "I will reduce this world into a charred husk of cinder and ash," Sleepy said.
Colleen, was appalled. "Sleepy, for once in your life can you stop killposting? I thought you were here to grant me my wishes."
Sleepy walked on his ape paws through the house and laid down on her couch with his shoes on. Colleen's home was run-down and looked like it survived a nuclear blast from Ferguson's cum.
Seeing the sight of her home and how neglected she was, Sleepy teared up a little bit and decided to do whatever it took to make her wishes come true.
"Hold up," Sleepy said as he pulled out his phone, "I have some friends that can help me grant your wishes."
***
Within half an hour, Traplord Gnomicus VII arrived on his noble steed Yangathan, and the COLD APPROACH GANG (Sexpat "Blueberry" Shaqathan, Alancel Ph.D M.D. STD, and Chang Thunderwang) showed up... each one, breaking and entering through their own separate window.
Traplord Gnomicus VII was a 3'9" garden gnome who had an affinity for plants, but he specialized in potion crafting. Yangathan, his noble steed, wore the finest diamond armor in all of Minecraft. Sexpat Shaqathan not only brought the goods (that being his vial of cialis and blueberries), but also the energy. Then, there was Alan Chang Ph.D. M.D. STD. He was an expert janitor that used phenibut and Marshacide in order to claim the virginities of his enemies.
And finally... there was Chang Thunderwang. He was a staggering 6'8" 280lb star quarterback that received straight A's in school.
"You call. I cum," Shaq said.
"Do you have Instagram? Follow me @alanq1111," Alan said nervously.
"I hate all of you. Humanity is a disgusting, wretched, depraved species. If I had it in my power, I would stop at nothing to reduce every single one of you to mountains of skulls and rivers of blood. I will leave no stone unturned until humanity is exterminated by my hands and until every single piece of land becomes a fucking cemetary that becomes inhabited by you vile, worthless pieces of shit. And rightfully so," said Chang "Alpha" Thunderwang.
Traplord Gnomicus VII wandered outside to tend to the dying garden Colleen's parents had left abandoned. He's a stupid fucking idiot gnome that doesn't contribute much to this story.
"Thank you," Sleepy said, "For cumming on short notice... I have something to discuss with you... this here is Colleen and I'm orbiting her." As Sleepy spoke, he changed into a spacesuit. "Ape go space... ook..."
The Gnome and COLD APPROACH GANG listened intently as Sleepy continued. "However, before I go into full orbit, Colleen has asked me to grant her three wishes and I need all of your help for it..."
Colleen stood up, shocked at the presence of these strange, but endearing incels. They all smelled like burning wood fragrance, but she thought it was impolite to mention it.
***
"I'm dying," Colleen softly said. "Dying... of a rare form of cancer that slowly increases my autism-score, which rots my brain..." The incels' eyes started to water. "If you can grant me these three wishes, there is a possibility that I will live..." With the prospect of death so close... Colleen held back her own tears.
"Common!" The group of incels shouted, "We've got no time to waste! Tell us your wishes you stupid fucking idiot!"
Colleen was emboldened. "My first wish is for a vial of prednisone hidden in the darkest, most degenerate place known to man: the janitor's closet... But, there's one catch... the closet is guarded 24/7 by a gigantic whale known as 'Helen' and taking her out will be no easy task..."
Understanding the difficulty of the task, Shaq gave himself a loud slap. "Mouth blue."
With a 7-minute hesitation, Alan knelt down beside Colleen said "If we do this... will you connect with me on LinkedIn?"
"This isn't the time for fucking LinkedIn game you incel," Chang Thunderwang spat.
"Lets go guys," Sleepy said. "Fetch the gnome as well... we have some business to take care of. Colleen, please be safe while I'm gone..." Sleepy stared deeply into Colleen's eyes, holding back all the anger he had for the world. "I love you..."